It happens every October...

...I get in a funk and it always takes me a while to realize why I'm in a funk. It's the anniversary month of my father's death. He died suddenly (at only 50) on the 22nd. I was 23. It was 24 years ago and I still miss him so much. It makes me so sad that my kids never got to know him. It also makes me sad that I never really got to know him as well as I would have liked. He would have loved all of his grandchildren and he would have loved all the new technology. I'm sure I got my instinct for working with computers from him. I wish that I could talk to him and find out all the other ways I am like him and that my children are like him. Here's a picture of my dad with me and my sister, Cheryl (I'm on the left, if you couldn't figure that out). It was Easter and we were at my grandparent's house. My mom made the dresses that we are wearing.


He was a great dad. He worked his ass off to support our family. He also made time to do fun stuff with us, too. I clearly remember trips to the Museum of Science and Industry when he took me, Cheryl and my brother, John. My mom would pack a lunch in a thermal bag that always included cream soda. Any time I smell cream soda, it takes me right back to the lunch table at the museum. I recently found a line of rather oddly-scented perfumes at Ulta and one of them was cream soda. I was very tempted to get it. I still may.

His death was very sudden and very difficult. I was with him when he died (along with my mom and my aunt). In a way, it's been a difficult burden, but I really wouldn't have had it any other way. Octobers are always difficult for me. It happens every year. I'm bawling now, so that's it for now...........